Adrienne M. Koller, LPC

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Find Your Fire!

Motivation

Returning from an entrepreneurial retreat this past week, I find myself thinking a lot about motivation. I think it may be the single most important thing I brought back and is responsible for the almost nonstop work since my return. It is responsible for this first attempt at writing a blog, something I never saw myself doing. Is it scary to branch out and try something I’ve never done, hell yes, but the seed was planted and ignited excitement within me to try. So here I go…. blog number one, coming your way.

Motivation. It's a hot commodity these days. Just the other day, my friend asked me, "Why am I struggling with getting motivated?" It was because he didn't know what would motivate him to get out of bed in the morning and start doing things. And so, we talked about ways to get motivated when you don't have any motivation at all! I had another friend ask the same thing “why am I so unmotivated to work on my business?”. We quickly revealed her feelings of being overwhelmed and uncertain where to start which had become a huge barrier and left her feeling incompetent and…you guessed it, unmotivated to even try. 

In his book The Motivation Manifesto, author Brendon Burchard writes, "Motivation is a feeling that we have about ourselves and our environment." It's an important distinction to make because motivation isn't necessarily something you control; it's something you feel. You can't force yourself to be motivated by sheer willpower alone—you have to find your own source of inspiration, which may change from day to day or even minute to minute.

Motivation tends to fluctuate based on external factors such as stress or anxiety in your life (or lack thereof), weather conditions or time of day, social interactions with friends and family members who are supportive versus those who are not so supportive—the list goes on and on. If we're honest with ourselves about why we don't feel motivated today (and admit it when we do), then tomorrow might look brighter...which leads me back around again: Why don't I feel motivated? Well...because yesterday sucked!

Motivation is the key to success. However, it's also something we hear about in therapy sessions, as people have a hard time motivating themselves to make an appointment, to come on time, and be there for the session.

It is important to understand the difference between motivation and willpower when trying to get something done; you need both. Motivation comes from within yourself—it's something internal that drives you towards your goals. The other part of this equation is willpower which is not only used when doing things but also resisting temptations or distractions while completing tasks at hand. 

One way we can motivate ourselves is by using rewards or incentives that are going to encourage us toward our goals instead of discouraging us from achieving them because they're too difficult or challenging at first glance (which can lead someone into procrastination). For example: if I want help with my finances then maybe getting myself organized would be best started off by creating some sort of budget for myself so I know where all my money goes every month; however this may seem like an overwhelming task so breaking it down into smaller chunks like paying off debts first before saving up for retirement could make things easier - this could turn into an incentive because now instead of feeling overwhelmed about starting over financially again after bankruptcy occurs (which I might think twice before doing), now I can start fresh without feeling guilty knowing how much progress has been made thus far! 

We all need motivation to live our lives.

Motivation is a state of mind. It's the feeling you get when you have a reason to act. You can be motivated by your feelings, or by your thoughts—but in either case, motivation is what gets you out of bed in the morning and keeps you going throughout the day. Motivation is important because it gives us reasons to do things. Without motivation, we wouldn't get out of bed or go to work or even eat! Motivation helps us stay focused on our goals and keep moving forward with our lives.

But what is it?

Motivation is a feeling or emotion that prompts a person to act. It's the reason you have for doing what you do, and it can push you to work harder, longer, and more efficiently than if motivation weren't part of your life. Motivation can be positive (like wanting to be fit) or negative (like not wanting to let someone down).

Motivation is different from drive: drive motivates you to do something in an effortless way—it's more like an internal combustion engine than a rocket ship. But motivation is what gets the job done—it's what gives your work meaning and purpose, whether that means building a business from scratch or making art just for yourself.

Motivation is defined as "a reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way." It can be internal, external, short-term, or long-term. In order to understand motivation, it's important to make the distinction between motivation and goals. Motivation is about why you want to do something, whereas goals are what you plan on accomplishing. Goals should be specific and measurable so that you know when they've been met; without these criteria in place, it's very difficult to measure progress toward your goal(s).

When motivation is high, you are excited about doing things. Or maybe you are just excited about life in general. There is nothing better than feeling like anything is possible.

And when your motivation is low? You are not excited about much of anything. You feel like your life has no meaning or purpose and that nothing could get better or worse than it already is now. When your motivation to do something decreases, it's easy to lose sight of how important it is to feel motivated again because all you can think about right now is what you don't want! But the reality is that a lack of motivation (or even a very low level of it) creates an environment where nothing good can grow; without motivation, we will never achieve our goals!

Motivation, in a nutshell, is the reason you do anything. It's what makes you want to get up and go to work every morning; it's what gets you out of bed when your alarm goes off at 6:00 am; it's what keeps you going when nothing seems to be working out in your favor. Motivation can be defined as "the reason one has for acting or behaving in a particular way," so anyone who has ever worked out before knows that motivation is key if they want to see results. Without motivation, all efforts would be pointless — but with the right type of motivation (and lots of hard work), anything is possible! Motivation can come from many different places: personal goals or ambitions; a desire to better yourself or others around you; public recognition... The list goes on and on!

Sometimes people mistake being unmotivated for depression because they feel depressed when they aren't motivated. But they are two different things. In depression, your mood is low; you have no motivation to do anything; and your energy levels are low. In being unmotivated, you don't have any interest in doing things that normally would excite you (people or activities), but your mood isn't affected by it at all—you feel fine otherwise.

Depression doesn't go away when you get motivated but being motivated helps depression a bit by forcing you out of that rut and into the world where things can start to look brighter again.

Depression isn't just about being unmotivated. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain that causes you to feel sad, hopeless, and helpless. Depression can be caused by trauma or stress, but it doesn't have to be that way. Many people with depression are perfectly healthy physically and mentally but will still suffer from episodes of depression if they're not careful about how they live their lives. Depression is a serious illness that needs treatment—but there are things you can do on your own right now to help yourself feel better! If being unmotivated is part of your depression cycle, then getting motivated might be just what you need to get out of the cycle

The key to getting and staying motivated is to have some kind of purpose for what you are doing. Purpose can be defined as “the reason for which something exists or is done.” For example, a purpose could be the reason why you get out of bed in the morning, or it could be the reason why you get out of bed at all—it could even be a reason why you do anything at all!

When I was young, my mother told me that I would never amount to anything, never be successful, and should just go to “vocational school to be a hairdresser” because I was “incapable of being successful in any other endeavors”.  Growing up in that toxic environment, I became motivated to succeed in life and to prove my family wrong. I slowly realized it has become the force that drives everything I do. After earning an associate, bachelor’s, and two master’s degrees, it was evident to me I was trying to prove something. Looking back on days when, as a single mother of three, working three jobs, and wanting to quit school, I replayed the past in my head which fueled my motivation to continue. When, after lacking positive parental role models to model good parenting skills, I became a parent myself, I vowed to be the kind of parent I never had. I strived to be supportive, nurturing, and provide unconditional love to my children, the opposite of everything I experienced as a child. That was my motivation. There were days I wanted to quit, days I fell on my face, and days I made mistakes, but I was dedicated and committed. 

Motivation is not something that just happens. It requires a lot of work, dedication, and commitment to your goals. If you want to be more motivated, then start by finding something that makes you excited about life again. Maybe that means finding friends who understand what it's like to be unmotivated sometimes. Maybe it means finding new hobbies or playing sports with friends at the park every Saturday morning (yes, this actually works). Or maybe, like me, it means going to a training, retreat, or class that ignites something inside of you. Whatever gets your juices going again, go do it. Carpe Diem!!

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident, and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.