Discovering Who You Are: A Reflection for the New Year

As we step into a new year, it's a perfect time to pause and reflect on a question that’s both simple and profound: Who am I? Not in terms of your job title, the car you drive, the balance in your bank account, or even the image staring back at you in the mirror. Strip all of that away, and ask yourself—who are you, really?

We live in a world that encourages us to tie our identity to external markers of success. Our careers become synonymous with our value. Our possessions are perceived as reflections of our worth. Our appearance is held up as a measure of our desirability. And while it’s natural to take pride in these things, there’s a danger in letting them define us.

Let’s be clear: there’s nothing wrong with enjoying what you have. It’s okay to love the car you drive, to appreciate the freedom and pride it gives you. It’s okay to feel healthier and happier when you look in the mirror and see a reflection that boosts your self-esteem. It’s okay to feel comfort and stability in knowing your bills are paid, that you’ve worked hard to be financially secure. These things enhance our lives, but they do not make our lives. Your car is just what you drive. Your money is just what you use to pay your bills. Your job is just what you do to earn a living. None of these are who you are or a measure of your worth.

The Trap of External Identity

When we start to believe that our possessions, status, or appearance define us, we set ourselves up for an endless chase. These things are fleeting. Cars age and break down, careers shift, appearances change, and money—no matter how much you have—is never enough to fill an emotional void. And when we meet people who are consumed by these constructs, we don’t truly connect with them. We might admire their accomplishments or envy their lifestyle, but that’s not what makes us care about them.

Think about the people you love and respect the most. Is it because of the car they drive or the job they have? Or is it because of who they are? We love people for their kindness, their ability to make us laugh, their courage, and the way they make us feel seen and valued. We admire their integrity, their generosity, and their willingness to grow. These qualities have nothing to do with material success and everything to do with character.

What Truly Defines You

Your identity isn’t in the things you own or the accolades you’ve earned. It’s in how you treat others, how you handle adversity, and the values you live by every day. It’s in the way you show up for the people who matter to you, how you contribute to the world around you, and how you hold yourself accountable to being the person you aspire to be.

When we let go of tying our worth to external things, we free ourselves to focus on what truly matters. We stop chasing validation through possessions or appearances and start building a life based on values and connections. And when we do that, something remarkable happens: we become the kind of people others admire, respect, and love—not for what we have, but for who we are.

Shifting the Focus

As this new year unfolds, I challenge you to take a closer look at how you define yourself. Appreciate your accomplishments and enjoy the fruits of your labor, but don’t let them define your worth. Instead, focus on cultivating the qualities that make you proud to be you. Ask yourself:

• How do I treat the people around me?

• What values guide my decisions?

• Am I showing up for the people and causes that matter to me?

• When people think of me, what do I want them to remember?

These questions may not come with easy answers, but they’re worth exploring. Because at the end of the day, your job title will change, your possessions will fade, and your looks will evolve. What will remain is the legacy of your character—how you made people feel, the values you stood for, what you put faith and passion into, and the impact you had on the lives around you.

So, as you celebrate this new year, take a moment to celebrate you—not for what you have, but for who you are becoming. Let that be your focus, your anchor, and your guide in the year ahead.

Ready to Begin Your Journey?

If you're ready to dig deeper, to explore who you truly are and how you want to show up in the world, I’m here to help. Therapy is a space where you can uncover your values, examine your choices, and grow into the best version of yourself. Together, we can work on aligning your actions with your authentic self, creating a life that feels meaningful and true to who you are. Reach out today and let’s take the first step of this adventure of discovery and growth—because you are worth it.

Happy New Year to you!

-Adrienne