You’re Not Powerless—You’re Just Pouring Your Energy Into the Wrong Damn Place
You’re Not Powerless. You’re Just Pouring Your Energy Into the Wrong Damn Place
How Anxiety, Anger, and Depression Take Over When We Obsess Over What We Can’t Control
We talk a lot about mental health these days: anxiety, burnout, rage, depression, emotional overload. But too often, the conversation leaves out one brutal truth:
We waste so much energy focusing on things we can’t control, while completely ignoring the power we do have.
This is where therapy gets real.
The Circle of Concern vs. the Circle of Influence
This concept, based on Stephen Covey’s work, hits especially hard when you’re drowning in emotional overwhelm.
The Circle of Concern includes everything you care about but cannot directly control.
Examples: global events, other people’s actions, your past, the future, your ex, your boss’s behavior, your kid’s attitude.The Circle of Influence includes everything you can control.
Examples: your behavior, your boundaries, your routines, your mindset, your self-care, your reactions, your decisions.
Most people spend 90% of their energy spinning inside their Circle of Concern, chasing control that isn’t theirs. That’s where the emotional unraveling begins.
Why This Fuels Anxiety, Anger, and Depression
When you live in the Circle of Concern:
Anxiety skyrockets. You’re stuck in “what if” mode. Everything feels uncertain. Safety feels out of reach.
Anger builds. You feel powerless, helpless, and trapped. When you can’t change the system, you rage against it—or yourself.
Depression settles in. You feel like nothing you do matters. Hopelessness sets in. You disengage.
The brain interprets powerlessness as danger. If you stay in that powerless mental space, your system either shuts down or goes into overdrive.
The Power Shift Starts Here
Here’s the truth:
You’re not powerless. You’re just pouring your energy into the wrong damn place.
And the moment you start shifting focus back to your Circle of Influence, everything begins to change.
5 Strategies to Reclaim Your Mental Health
1. Map Your Circles
Draw two circles on paper. In the Circle of Concern, write down everything you’re worried about.
Then pull out anything you actually have some influence over, even a little, and move it into the Circle of Influence.
2. Name It to Tame It
When your thoughts spiral, pause and ask: “Can I influence this right now?”
If not, say out loud: “That’s in my Circle of Concern. Not mine to fix.”
3. Create a Daily Power Ritual
Start each day with one small act that reminds your nervous system you do have control: move your body, set a boundary, drink water, breathe, speak truth to yourself.
4. Limit the Drain
Reduce the time you spend doom-scrolling, venting, or replaying the same stuck story.
The more time you spend outside your Circle of Influence, the more anxious and disconnected you’ll feel.
5. Get Professional Support
A trauma-informed therapist trained to work with high-pressure, high-functioning people (like you) can help you regulate your nervous system, build emotional mastery, and reclaim your focus.
This Isn’t About Toxic Positivity. It’s About Real Power.
I’m not here to sugarcoat your pain or slap a motivational quote on it.
I work with people who have been through it - first responders, military members, medical professionals, high-level executives, and pilots.
You carry a lot. You’re expected to hold it all together.
But you don’t have to do it alone anymore.
You’re not powerless. You’re just pouring your energy into the wrong damn place.
Let’s change that - together.
Ready to Focus on What You Can Actually Control?
At Strong Self Psychotherapy, I help high-stress, high-pressure, and high-profile professionals regulate their nervous system, recover from burnout, and take back control.
Schedule to begin therapy and take the first step toward reclaiming your energy.
Phone: 512-910-4097
